a passage From the “The Face: A Clown Show”
An Exercise for a Comedien
For Bert Williams, Godfrey Cambridge, & Zero Mostel
Shaft of white light.
A “Government Leader” (G.L.) played by a black actor in white face (the powder should fall and dust off almost ridiculously when he gets excited) must must be larger than life and not only chew the scenery — he must devour it! Enough of this bland bourgeois Reality TV-Anybody-Can-Act-petty-realism! Let’s get back to theater that stretches and goes beyond our thoughts, aspirations, and fears. The aim is not to shock — the aim is to be taken so serious that its humor ruffles any feathers that they may have – causing them to laugh. The actor should go for the full ham and cheese and have fun going for the gusto.
Everything is big and broad.
The satire is savage and self-conscious, but with a knowing thrust of the chin to the great savages of the theater such as Douglas Turner Ward and Tony Kushner. The action sets of in mid-scene, the G.L. has just slammed down the phone, salivating. He wears a headset, two video cameras on tripods, from time to time he checks his appearance in a video monitor upstage which acts as his 21st Century Male-Chambers Mirror.
Stage right sits a gargantuan text: The Book of Faces.
The G.L. pace s frantically behind a tiny desk, with an enormous chair. He addresses an invisible intern.
…Well, come on lets keep making sure that the drugs get into the country one way or another cause we gotta deal with these people and we can’t have no rebellions here, not after we–(heavy sighs, sits, hangs his head) Oh, boy, what am I gonna do with my life? Gotta pick up where we keep starting from…Who was that? The guy who keep rolling up the thing and it keeps coming back down? Exactly! And only a sissy would know he name. (To himself) Make a note: idea for TV show based on the Myth of Sissyphus! (Back to intern) Now: Almost completely erased the Civil Rights era and now this–! (To intern) Please! What? No, no–they can have it on TV, read books about it. Make sure there are more more books about it this year than there was last year. This way people will think that there’s some mass consciousness happening or something…Just make sure the book refers to the movie–this way it’s not so threatening. What? No, no, no–no films: MOVIES! The hell is the matter with you? Don’t they teach you anything downstairs? (Picks up “telephone”) Grace, would you come in here, please? (Hangs up) All right. Don’t get too excited here Randy…(Leers at him, makes a strange face like he’s suspicious) Why you looking at me for like that? (Sighs) All right, listen. (Turns, Grace enters) You believe this kid? How are you, this morning Grace? You look good. (To intern) It’s simple. Don’t worry, I’ll explain it: the more books being written, the more movies being done–about Jesus Christ-I-don’t-know-what? Who, Grace? Help me out. What? (Thinks) The Bus strikes, and Martin Luther King and the FBI killing Malcolm X and the people in Africa–doesn’t matter which country in Africa–it’s all the same to Americans; keep putting those out for the people so they can’t say nothing’s wrong with the system. You gotta think Randy! You gotta think big, you gotta think quick! You gotta think: what would you want…(whispers) if you was them? (Incredulous) What do you mean a Revolution!!?? (Thinks) Well, I am glad you’re on our side! HA-HA-HA!! What do you think Grace, he’s a riot huh? Milk and sugar. Thank you. (Back to Randy) Look, just tell them on the Great White Way to keep the status quo and all the Liberals in Tinsel town to keep doing what they’re doing. In fact, tell them to make more movies about poor people revolting, show a real revolution–the masses will love it. They’ll buy popcorn and then they’ll feel good when they go voting the next day. (Pause) What? What’s the matter now? Yes. Yes. A real revolution. No, it’s fine, it’s been done before, whaddya mean? No, no, no, no, no…Listen to me. You see New Orleans? You know why its still that way? Because we want it to. They rebuilt Berlin after WWII in less time. And that was all cause of the old ladies throwing bricks and stones. We’ve been diverting Americans as long as we can and you can never overwhelm then enough. Give ‘em more options, they get anxious, they do nothing. What? (sighs) It’s very simple: you give people the Revolution on the big screen; it denies them the revolution in their real lives. Once they see it, they don’t want it. There’s no more need for it. It’s like, ah–…Well, it’s like looking at the titties and pussies, right? These guys are looking at this stuff, movies, the Internet–everyone’s looking at it, talking about it…But no one’s doing it! They jerk off, five minutes later–they’re over it; they don’t have any use for it. You give him a real woman they don’t even want it, wouldn’t know what to do with her. That’s like “the Revolution”.
(Telephone rings.)
“Hello? Yes. What? No. I don’t know. Who cares? Oh please, leave them alone they’re harmless, CNN. Do you really think we would allow them to broadcast if they were a threat? Journalism? Journalism?? What is that? You’re talking riddles—‘journalism.’ Please, give me a break. Thinkers went out with the Indians. You’re talking before my time. (Long pause) Why would we feed people when we could make a movie about it?? Stop it, already. Listen to me: to feed that country and help the Aids victims there, the ones those kids were protesting about–how much would that cost? That’s it?? Alright listen: cut that number in half, divide it by four and use one quarter of that to produce a movie about it. No one will bring up poverty for at least six months, buy us some time. Who else, what else? What? Find some liberal guy to direct it–make sure he’s balding or at least has a Jewish name–or a Jewish look–very important to be taken serious. No, no, not him he’s a real left-winger, he’d do it for free! Won’t even support Israel. And I don’t trust him. Who else you got? Yeah, I like him, he doesn’t hire his own people–let’s go with him. Okay, I’ll talk to you later. (Hangs up)
“So kid, call up the studios and make sure they get something out like that this year; has to be big with serious big posters. Yes. With Big names. Yes, it ferments our position and our authority. Who? No, that’s their job, that’s–what Government? There is no– (sighs)…How long you been here? All right, it doesn’t matter…But it’s the name of the game and it sends your beautiful wife anywhere she wants to go in the world, okay? So, remember: give them images, but control the images. They want to see themselves? No sweat–hire them, hire them, hire them. They don’t care if their own are unemployed, just put ‘em on TV and give ‘em awards every now and then and always support pacifism! Always support pacifism. What? Yes, Randy it is that simple. Sorry. But it is. (Claps and rubs hands) Come on, let’s focus: we gotta keep on those drugs.
“You know, I was laying in bed last night and I was thinking: It’s been long enough; we’ve got to get things back on track here. Just keep ‘em busy, make sure young kids can sell it, and make sure there is always plenty of entertainment at disposal. Distraction. (Pause) That’s the music department, no, that’s the fifth floor. Believe me–they’ll know. What? Well, hell no, if we stop now(gravely) they’ll remember they’re Black Men, not Niggers…and we can’t have that. It would be the end…of civilization…as we know it…Now: let’s talk about this soccer issue. No, no, no — it’s not a problem yet. When they start winning and calling themselves “brother”. Then we got a problem.”
(Lights change)
Blackout.
